This past year was one of many realizations. Many things fell into place. It seems a bit late in life to start figuring out who I am, where I belong, where I'm from... but thankfully one of my main realizations has been finding out that I'm not alone, that there are many others like me and that this pubecent confusion I feel I'm going through might very well be a life long companion.
It's incredible that nothing in my life has changed except my perception of it and yet, somehow, that changes everything.
A friend once told me she realized she was waiting, waiting for her life to begin. In my way I think I've always done that too. Whatever I've done, wherever I've been, the friends I've made have been, in my mind, temporary.
I'm now visiting my parents and for the first time ever allowing them to give me sheets, a normal sized towel, pots, silverware... things for my house, things that will weigh me down and although externally I'm just exchanging a hand towel for one that takes up 3 times more space, I'm also accepting that my life is happening right here and right now.
I'm no longer passing though.
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3 comments:
it's 1.13 am and I am using your computer (I hope that's ok).. I can't sleep for some reason.. well my head is full that's why... I just wanted to say.. I'm glad you're back!
Hey Laila,
Just wanted to let you know, it's called your quarter life crisis, welcome to it. I promise you it's not so bad, it can be quite fun finding yourself actually, especially once you embrace the fact that you truly can be anyone you want to be.
I miss you and love you very much, keep your head up, you're beautiful and awesome.
Much Love,
~Nima D
Hey Laila, such wisdom! I myself am trying to find ways to be present in my own life and no longer "pass through." Reading your post gives me newfound hope. Miss you!
Love,
Juliet
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